I feel like a loser, a failure who can never do anything good in life. Is this what you think you are? Oh, how wrong you are! Read to learn reasons of ‘Why Do I Feel Like a Loser’ and what you MUST do when you feel like a loser.
- 1 I FEEL LIKE A LOSER:
- 2 7 Reasons of ‘Why Do I Feel Like a Loser’
- 2.1 1. You Fail at Everything You Do (according to you):
- 2.2 2. You are Less Attractive Than Others (according to you):
- 2.3 3. You Value a lot What Others Think about You:
- 2.4 4. You Compare Yourself to Others – I Feel Like a Loser:
- 2.5 5. You Stick to Your Past Mistakes – I Feel Like a Loser:
- 2.6 6. You Don’t Know How to Communicate with Others:
- 2.7 7. Your Goals are Not Realistic – I Feel Like a Loser:
- 3 How to Cope When You Feel Like a Loser
- 4 Conclusion – I Feel Like a Loser
I FEEL LIKE A LOSER:
Lost another battle and now feeling more like a loser? Or dark clouds of negative self-talk are dispersed all over your brain and constantly pouring negativity over it, nourishing the seeds of hopelessness?
You are a loser. You can’t do anything even though you’re gifted with everything. Why were you even born. Look how good others are.
This is the mantra many people repeat and accept like it is a holy verse. And it does no good in return but makes you feel more of a loser.
All the negative self-talk we do when something goes wrong, leads us nowhere but in the dark bottomless pit of despair & hopelessness.
Such gruesome thoughts will never leave you. But eventually, with practice you can learn to replace them with something better; Positive Thoughts.
To learn how can you stop feeling like a loser lets first see why do you feel like a loser?
7 Reasons of ‘Why Do I Feel Like a Loser’
Why Do I Feel Like a Loser? Discover 7 sure reasons of why do you feel like a loser.
1. You Fail at Everything You Do (according to you):
You faced failure in the past and now you believe that you will fail again no matter how hard you try.
You readily trust others just not yourself. When you don’t believe in yourself, you lose the ability to handle rejections that you encounter while walking the road to success.
Studies reveal that successful people reach their goals because they believe in themselves.
It’s not like all successful people are intelligent than the unsuccessful ones. No. But it’s the contrast in their attitude towards failure that makes them who they are.
Every single person makes blunders in their life. But many discover different ways & lessons from them and move on.
It’s not the failure that stops you from moving ahead. It’s that you give up easily. You surrender in front of self-doubt and fears instead of trying hard to chase them away.
It does not matter how many people trust you, but if you don’t trust yourself you will never be able to achieve your goals or dreams.
2. You are Less Attractive Than Others (according to you):
You think you are ugly as compare to others. And self-doubt your attractiveness and find imperfections in yourself.
When you get tagged in a group photo on social media you get depressed thinking you are the least attractive among all in the photo.
Although no one sees you that way, but the negative talk in your head that never fades away tells you another story.
You forget that we all are born different. Among the 7 billion people no one can be you. You are a unique & original copy. And your beauty resides within you.
You depreciate your attractiveness without giving heed to see the good in you.
3. You Value a lot What Others Think about You:
You assess yourself on the basis of other people’s opinions. And fear their opinions so much that it holds you back from showing your true and unique self.
You feel anxious while walking in a room full of strangers, you don’t put your opinion out loud in a gathering/classroom, you don’t raise your hand – Why? Because you fear rejection or disapproval from others.
Opinions from others are important if they are helping you in improving yourself. Regardless of that if their opinions are more destructive than constructive then you should not pay attention to them.
If you begin believing in yourself and know that what you are doing is right in every sense, then it does not matter what do others think about you.
4. You Compare Yourself to Others – I Feel Like a Loser:
Someone got their ideal job at 25, someone got married at 22, or someone became a millionaire at a young age – this is their life (that’s totally different from yours), their struggle and their success.
Instead of making them a source of your inspiration, you start comparing yourself with them.
You regard yourself as a failure for not having the things they have at this age. You don’t think about the hardships, struggles, sleepless nights and countless failures they faced to stand where they are today.
You are unique and no one can be you. This is your superpower that no one else can have. You have to dis-cover yourself fully to be who you really want to be. Instead of looking at others and pitying yourself, you forget to see good in you.
5. You Stick to Your Past Mistakes – I Feel Like a Loser:
Do you often lie in the bed to sleep but keep thinking about all the embarrassing times you have encountered till yet? There is a voice in your head that tells you that you could have done better but you did not. Why? Because you are a pathetic loser.
You think about all those moments that according to you have made you look like a fool in front of others.
In reality, those moments were insignificant for others and went unnoticed by them. But your brain does not let you forget them and torments you every night when you try to sleep.
You forget that such moments are a part of everyone’s life. They are not meant to be given importance.
Mistakes you make remind you what a loser you are. Nonetheless, you know that everyone makes mistakes. But wiser are those who learn from them and use their mistakes as a driving force to move ahead.
Mistakes made today are lessons for tomorrow. Lessons that we remember to avoid repeating the same thing.
6. You Don’t Know How to Communicate with Others:
You skills to communicate with others are poor and you don’t put effort to make social skills better. You hesitate to come out of your comfort zone and try something new yet different.
Good communication skills are very significant in building good relationships. But as you lack such skills your circle of acquaintance is very small. Which feeds another bad feeling called loneliness.
7. Your Goals are Not Realistic – I Feel Like a Loser:
Goals you set are very unrealistic that makes you unable to complete them in given time span.
So when you fail to accomplish such unrealistic goals you think you are a loser for not being able to complete the task on time.
Instead of planning goals that are specific, attainable and time-based, you set goals that can’t be attained in normal circumstances.
If you think you are failing to accomplish your goal then you are lacking the ability to plan thinking in a realistic way. Instead of blaming yourself for the failure, you must identify why you are failing.
How to Cope When You Feel Like a Loser
1. Make Realistic Goals
While making a list of goals most of us forget to keep a very significant point in mind. That the goals we are setting for tomorrow or for years must be achievable.
Studies show that 25% of the people break their New Year Resolutions just within the first week of New Year.
Most probably it is because they don’t set realistic goals and get tired only within the first week. When you make goals that are too hard to achieve and later fail to achieve them, the motivation that was pushing you fades away.
You blame yourself for not being able to complete goals without realizing that the problem was with those goals and not with you.
On the contrary, when you set smart goals, working towards them does not make you tired. And when you achieve them they push you forward to attain next.
So before calling yourself a loser who could not attain goals, first set goals that are actually achievable. Steps and tips to help you make realistic goals are:
- Write down goals you want to achieve.
- Break down your goals into short-term and long-term goals.
- Make a realistic, time-based and achievable plan to attain those goals. For example, if your goal is to lose weight this year. Then make a proper plan about how you are going to do it. What are the things you will avoid etc.
- Set milestones to keep track of your progress. Again if we take weight loss as an example, then set milestones like how much weight will you lose in the first month.
- Don’t overburden yourself with a long list of goals. Start with only one goal at a time.
2. Have Faith in Yourself – When You Feel like a Loser
Failures we face in life make us doubt ourselves while trying next time. But instead of fearing failure you must look the challenge in eyes and step towards it.
With believe in yourself you can attain things you think are unattainable. If you can trust others then you can trust yourself as well.
If you believe in yourself and work hard, there is nothing in the world that can stop you from achieving what you want.
Life is never easy. We face challenges every day. Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.
Every time you lose remember that this loss is not the end. Get up. And face the challenge again and again until you attain what you are struggling for.
Always keep this in mind that true struggle never goes in vain. If not today then some other day in life you will get its reward when you need it the most.
Tips to have faith in yourself are:
- Know who you are. And then accept yourself just the way you are.
- Don’t regret your mistakes. Learn from them and move on.
- Make a list of all the accomplishments you have achieved in life. It will help you in gaining your lost self-confidence.
- Look for your strengths and build yourself up through them.
- Keep company of positive people. It will help you think positive and stay positive.
3. Be Aware of the Company of People You Take:
People you surround yourself with greatly influence your life. And your lifestyle, behavior, attitude, and habits are the things that get affected by the people you spend time with.
So make sure that you stay away from the negative influence and surround yourself with positive people. Because negative energy from negative people can suck your positive energy and happiness out.
Stay with the people who inspire you, help you move forward after every failure and assist you in finding the right direction. Such people can be in your family, friends or colleagues etc. Try to stay in their company.
Move away from those who demotivate you, who don’t have any goals and don’t want you to have any goals as well.
In life when you surround yourself with good, more good comes your way. You don’t get tired because you have good people to share your burden with.
Failure does not make you feel like a loser because good people you surround yourself with will always push you forward no matter how hard you fall.
So take time to think about people you surround yourself with. Are these the ones who keep themselves and the people around them motivated? If yes then stay close to them and learn more good from them.
On the contrary, if you keep the company of negative people who demotivate you, then it’s time to move away from them. Because remember that you become like those you spend most of your time with.
4. Stop Comparing Yourself with Others
Every day we compare ourselves to others about our job, qualification, income, friends, family, children, Facebook likes and so on.
But what does this comparison do? It kills our happiness and constantly reminds us about things we don’t have but others have. Instead of focusing more on the things we have we put the focus on the things we lack.
And if this habit is not changed soon it will keep rotting you from inside. Tips to stop this habit are:
Find your strengths and instead of comparing them with others, work on them.
Every time such thoughts come in your mind, try to divert the focus. Start thinking about the things you have achieved.
Accept your flaws and remember that neither you nor anyone else is perfect.
Be grateful for what you have. There are people out there who pray to have things that you have.
Instead, use this comparison as a motivation. Get inspired, not envious of those who have achieved more.
Always remind yourself that you are unique. If you don’t have things others have, others might not have things that you have.
If seeing #happy posts of others on social media triggers jealousy or sadness, try to use it as less as possible.
5. Learn from Your Past Mistakes – Forgive Yourself
Have you done something that your brain keeps reminding you about? It keeps telling you what a loser you are for doing such embarrassing thing. If so then remember that we are all humans, not angels.
And you can’t keep reminding yourself about the things you did not do intentionally. Because it’s like staying in the past and punishing yourself daily for unnecessary things.
So learn to forgive yourself, move on and explore new things to do better.
Admit your mistake. Tell yourself that it’s OK to make mistakes and forgive yourself. Consider it your life’s learning experience. Move forward with the thought that you will not repeat it instead you will do better next time.
If this thought still lingers in your mind, push it away and remind yourself you have already forgiven yourself for that. So there is no point of thinking about it again and again.
Conclusion – I Feel Like a Loser
Always remember that failure is a part of life. No one gets success overnight. Many millionaires out there did not become a millionaire doing nothing. They have struggled and failed a thousand times.
So next time you face failure instead of calling yourself a loser, stand up and move ahead. Remember every failure shows that at least you are trying.